Re-invention: From incremental to exponential. (FULL ARTICLE)

Think about that for a moment.

How can any of us experience exciting progress if we’re not willing to go farther than the limits we have set?

It is your identity that determines how high in life you will reach. It is your identity that will be the deciding factor to whether you have amazing relationships, experience exciting career opportunity and make the kind of money you dream of.

But it is also your identity that will determine how you far will be held back.

For example, if you see yourself as someone who struggles with money, then life will always reflect that back to you. You will never escape that reality and will always have the very financial struggles you fear. These struggles become a part of your identity and your identity shapes your life.

So, if you want to reinvent your life, you have to carefully chose an identity that will propel you forwards and not one that will imprison you in your current reality.

But how do we do this?

 

You have 2 options:

1. The most popular way is to change your habits incrementally. And if you are consistent enough, then your reality will start to change over time to match these new habits. This is the slow approach and many people give up. Life stays the same.

2. The second method is more daring. It is the road less travelled, and yet, if you are willing to leap, it is the faster and easier approach. Change your identity instantly and then “act as if ” this identity is true for you. Life will automatically follow. You do not wait for your habits to shift before you claim what is yours in life. Rather, you claim what is yours NOW.

 

I use the second option. We don’t incrementally shift our habits, rather we shift our identity and how we see ourselves. You literally wake up one day and decide to be this new person. You act as if  you already are this person, and subsequently your behaviours align with your new identity. This further solidifies this new bolder you. The process is a self-fulfilling prophecy and, before you know it, life expands.

 

Consider the following example. When you ask a man who wants to quit smoking if he would like a cigarette, he can either reply:

 

• “No thanks, I’m trying not to smoke” and yet still battles with his addiction. He still sees himself as a smoker and still identifies with the struggle to quit. He may well be trying, but therein lies his weak resolve. He will likely fail.
• Or, he could say “No thanks, I’m NOT a smoker” and simply act as if  he is free of his addiction. He has decided to identify with the freedom from cigarettes and not with his addiction to them. He now sees himself as a non-smoker, and he will likely succeed.

 

Your identity is monumentally important. To achieve your goals and dreams, you need to change who you are. Your actions then follow your self-image. It’s the most effortless way to transform your life. You simply decide to stop struggling and start living with ease.

I understand. It’s tempting to stay in your comfort zone. We prefer to be “realistic” and unquestioningly join the chorus of negativity of our family, friends, and especially that of social media incessently reminding us “life is hard” and “doom is coming”. Negativity sells, but it also slashes your dreams in two.

STEP 1 : DETERMINE YOUR NORTH STAR

First, you have to get clear on your dreams. Where are you headed? What do you want to accomplish in this precious life, in love, career, health and wealth? Imagine yourself living your dream life, 20-30 years from now. If you wrote your memoir, what would you say about yourself? What did you conquer in your best reality? And how did you transform your thoughts, feelings and actions to make these dreams come true?

If you dont even know where you are going, then you are doomed to stay where you are. But don’t worry, even when you feel lost, you can still dream. So start by dreaming no matter how terrible your current reality might seem. Dream – then dream bigger. Take time out of your hectic day to reflect on what really drives you and why. Because nothing is impossible if you can dream it.

 

STEP 2 : WHO MUST YOU NOW BECOME

Once you have a vision of what you want and where you want to go, you need to ask yourself: who do I need to become to get there? Who is the new me that will make my dream a reality? What do I now need to believe about myself to achieve this goal?

Think of your identity is your essence. It is not about the superficial habits you do every day. You may be making your bed each morning and then killing it at the gym, but if your core self remains unchanged, so does your life. This is more about the deep transformation you need to undergo. Who are you? What do you stand for? What matters to you? Ask yourself these questions over and over until you find the answers. If you ask, the answers will come.

 

STEP 3 : LET A PART OF YOU DIE

Most people never complete this step. They cling to the comfort of a familiar identity, no matter how self-destructive this identity may be. But if we don’t let this part of ourselves die, we will never find our dream life.

To reinvent yourself, you must break up with your old self and your limiting beliefs. They keep you stuck in an unhappy life. They are not true, and they do not serve you.

Identify the stories that you tell yourself that do not match your dream life, and release them. Your past experiences, your hurts and your struggles are irrelevant. Whenever they come up, acknowledge the pain, fear and doubt, but do not identify with them.

For example, if you’ve been bad with money or unlucky in love, decide that this is no longer your story. Ofcourse, you’ll still at times experience sadness for your past or fear for your future, but do not identify with these feelings. You can feel them and let them go without ever holding them to be true.

If you have been failing to reinvent yourself, it will be because you have not fully let your old self die. You still cling to it as truth. You still feed it. Maybe you do not even know which beliefs limit you. Maybe you think this is how life is. Maybe your family taught you these so-called truths about yourself and letting these limiting beliefs go will feel like breaking up with your family.

But remember, there is no rebirth without death. Take the time to reflect on which stories serve you, and which do not. And remind yourself that even if a belief feels real, it doesnt make it so.

 

STEP 4 : DON’T FAKE IT TIL YOU MAKE IT – EMBODY IT

Life mirrors your self-image, for better or worse.

Most people feel like imposters in the roles they play. They act out a part instead of living it, and fear being exposed.

Consider actors: the best ones do not fake being someone else. They do not mimic their emotions. That would be dishonest. Rather, they transform into this new person. They embody the new role and internalise its new identity.

In contrast, poor actors look like they are merely play-acting a role, reciting lines off a script and demonstrating artificial emotions. Their performance remains shallow and empty. It is the tone of their voice that gives them away. Truth is never forced.

You have to embody your new role in every way. Pay close attention to how you breathe, move, speak and act. Are you forcing yourself into an idea of who should be or are you relaxing into your new empowered identity? There’s a crucial difference. Always aim to let go of the struggle. You don’t need it. It will decimate your power.

It is this level of self-perecption that is key to creating your dream life. The more you effortlessly show up as the new you, the more your life will align with your dreams.

 

STEP 5 : PRACTICE IN NEW SETTINGS

Go to places where no one knows you and try being this new you. A coffee shop, a restaurant, a clothing store, anywhere. This is your chance to practice. No one knows your past here. You can be anyone you want. This is where you get to feel what it’s like to be the new you. It’s easier to be someone new without old ties hooking you to your past.

If you face a big life change, use it to reinvent yourself. It’s easier to do that when you travel, move, or start a new job. But big changes are rare. So, embrace them and use them to your benefit. Even bad changes like a break-up or job loss can spark personal growth. There’s always opportunity in crisis. It’s in these rock-bottom moments where you can reach for your next-level self.

So, if you hit rock bottom, jump on the moving bus and ride its momentum. The question then becomes; will you take the driver’s seat or just passively sit at the back?

 

STEP 6 : STAY VISIONARY

Reinventing yourself is not that hard. Anyone can do it with enough willpower.

What you need is absolute consistency to make a difference. And that’s the only hard part. Sticking with it without any proof that you now are who you claim to be.

You have to face each day with deliberate effort despite this lack of proof and all subsequent discouragement. Adopt a visionary mindset if you must. Because that’s what it takes to create momentum and activate the positive feedback loop.

By changing your identity without any initial evidence, you will naturally change your thoughts, feelings and actions – and even the way you breathe – and all these will reinforce your new identity. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy that needs no proof. You just have to allow yourself to embody your new identity. You don’t need proof or approval. You only need to keep showing up as the new you until the proof emerges.

That’s when your new identity becomes a natural part of yourself. The cycle is complete.

 

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If you want to exponentially improve your career and life,

then the RE-INVENTION programme is for you.

Duration can range from a half-day intensive to programmes of several months up to one year,

with corresponding fees from £4,000 to £30,000.

All programmes tailored to your individual needs.

 

CONTACT AMY