We may feel the problem is always the other person, but it rarely is.
The truth is we cannot change others into our perfect wished-for human.
Let’s be honest – it’s hard enough to change ourselves.
What we can change is how we respond.
If we learn the tools to transform conflict, we can turn the resistance of others into gold.
So when people are acting up, being judgemental, defensive, overbearing, closed, or simply triggering in some way, we can refuse to take the bait, no matter how offensive we may find them.
Instead, we can pause, take a deep breath and imagine there to be a strong invisible boundary around us through which their negative energy cannot penetrate. Their words simply slide off its periphery and leave our core within unaffected.
It also helps to see other people as a child acting up and throwing a tantrum. When people feel threatened, they tend to act out, and it is simply because their inner child is frightened. If you can see through the adult facade to the frightened child within, you may well become impervious to their difficult behaviour. Because how can we be insulted by a child? It is only when we mistake someone’s reactive behaviour as that of an adult’s do we become triggered ourselves.
Why is it so important that we refuse to take the bait and get triggered?
Because, when we stay calm, we can freely respond in a way that is more inspired – no matter what the other person throws at us. Remember all those moments where you thought of something clever to say after the event? Well, armed with your imaginary boundary and remembering to cut people down to child-size, you’ll know exactly what to say in the heat of the moment.
With these proven techniques, you’ll be surprised at how much power you never knew you had.